Final Video

My project is a video series of old/new journal entries. Many of these videos center around spirituality, gender observation through my emotions  at the time, as well as tons of music inspiration. The videos showing myself in present time is a diction of an emotion to the memory. For example I dress as how I felt when I first had my first smoke, luxurious, snotty, powerful as well as kinda gross. Humor is really what I got out of making these videos

I wanted more of a fluid video of my thoughts and memories. I tried to stay from many of passages which ranted, had complex background, or sounded too dairy like. I also skipped over my very dark passages due to privacy as well as my present emotions. Although, I think these videos capture more angst through aging. The order is not in order and the parts are moved in order to create a video flow.

The worst part was “getting over myself” and allowing myself to view my past as the past which is the under painting of who I am now. My original idea started as a zine, to colleges to finally going back to my love of video, which I felt I learned so much by choosing. Such as time management, transitions, effect experiments as well as sound (wow, harder than I thought). Anyways these are my selected video pieces from my memories.




Part Three (Letters): Final

The final videos where I think were the most enjoyable. I decided to focus on a bunch of letters I found in my journals. Many of them are humorous as well as innocent which I really admire about being young and easily influenced.  I made the choice to add music video clips so that the audience gets to see and hear what really inspired me. I edited most of the videos with layering of footage as well as the perspective of them. The worse part was finding short letters that would fit into the time limit. I found the Richard Hell one to be the funniest video. It was so to the point with starting off with “will you marry me” and saying how beautiful he is and his art, and explaining how his picture is in my locker, yikes.

For the Patty Smith video I wanted to keep the moving background simple with clouds. This represented how highly I think of Patty and her influence in my life.

The intro was basically a clip which I had always admired from the 90’s band Babe’s in Toyland. I added pictures of me with blonde hair from high school alongside my blonde heros. I thought putting a new face/character to my words would be best.



Creative Habit: Prt2 Gender Rolez and Music

The last compilation of videos I made added up to be 7 minutes long- which felt too long to share in class.  Therefore an adjustment I made was making each segment shorter and to the point. I also found that the passages I selected correlated in themes of gender identity as well as music related. I edited each none chronologically. I felt the order worked with the overall theme of my tween rants vs. recent emotional delimas. Also, I have made it a point to contentiously writing about my life today and adding in last week or a few days ago to have a balance as well as keep writing.

1st Video:Intro

Disorder:Joy Division

A prime example of more time and experience. I knew I needed the song Disorder by Joy Division because I find so much joy in it. My main idea was to take pictures of my journals, make them an PNG and paste them along the video like a collage.  The video is of my table which is what I mostly work by everyday, therefore that idea is almost like a self portrait- which changing album covers of the month ect.


2nd Video:Boys+Cigarettes

Where it’s At U.N.K.L.E remix : Beck

Visual: Snotty sixteen year old in a fur coat wearing sunglasses smoking a cig in a D.A.R.E

I wanted to capture how extravagant thinking and “rebelling” and even hating feels at that age. Angry is an energy and sometimes that  over-the-top energy feels right.

The middle video is an old music video I did for Video 1. Although the imagery is what i re-purposed. Cake is a symbol of celebration- I feel as though my passage about smoking and hating on boys was a form of self indulgence of learning (experience). I even showed a suprorty complex by stating id be a better boy than most boys I knew. Its actually quite humorous to me.

This was the last video I made therefore I feel it is most successful

3rd video: Clouds

Debaser: The Pixies

visuals: color manipulated clouds with animated text

I choose this passage mainly because the imagery has stuck with me. Being sixteen is a very adventurous stage and i remember thinking a lot about life.

That day I had some sort of dream or vision while laying on my bed that the ceiling was gone and the their was only a blue sky with clouds. In the clouds was a filing cabinet of everyone’s lives as well as thoughts. It may seem strange to those seeing the video- but that visual to be was very profound almost drug like or heavenly.

This video is an example of how an hour seemed to speed by leaving the result not to my standard.

mood board of collected pictures:

4th video KISS:

Strutter: KISS

visuals: performance art piece in a sorts of me putting on KISS makeup, clips from the movies Detroit Rock City,  Dazed and Confused as well as the show Freaks and Geeks

Many people have heard me speak about being a rock and roll boy in the 1970s, and wearing KISS makeup. For years I’ve said it- therefore I decided to make a “home video” of me putting on the gear- if i had more time I would make it look better make-up wise as well as performance quality wise.

The passage this time is when I am 17, analyzing how I view gender (through experience), along with gender in music.

A struggle right off the bat was finding short passages which did not need further explanation. Although, I do like the idea of mystery to a sentence/theme I wasn’t searching for that outcome in this video. I also once again found that an hour really is in perceptive. Some segments seemed to be flowing nicely through the restriction, while other works were rushed. I honestly do not know why it seemed to pan out that way. Once again, the struggle of sifting through old memories (more so emotions) is challenging. Sometimes while searching for inspiration in a passage, I end up continuously reading and analyzing as well as comparing life now. The fact that i know people may few these thoughts also play into how I select


5th video Boys and The Cure:

Just like Heaven (instrumental)- The Cure

Imagery: Bedroom sheet as well as birds flying in the sky

I find my bedroom and being in bed to be the safest area for me due having great memories of mornings with my parents in bed. A bed to me symbolizes closeness, security as well as being personal. I found that telling the story about a boy I spent the night with seemed fitting. I was very emotionally vulnerable- much like videotaping my personal bed/ place of rest/ safe spot. Their is a tea bag pocket taped on my headboad that says “passion”. I find passion to be a very driven motivating as well as sensual word.

The birds show how free I felt as well as flying to a destination which the birds do not reach (relationship I did reach)  because I clipped in a burning bed for the “burned” outcome.

Diary Project: Emotional Train

When I originally planned out this project, I was excited to read my old journals due to how fondly I look at my childhood. Unfortunately, reading a few of my noted experiences have been hard to handle emotionally.  Almost every entry is riddled in a melancholy, self destructive thought pattern. Most of the pages mention boys who I have had  major feelings for. As well as how their immature behavior (or perhaps my coy emotional connection) had effected my view of myself as an artist, teenager as well as a growing woman. To top it off I realized that my hand writing is a form of fast messy cursive and a bash of dyslexia.

It is interesting how I thought the information I was going to be gathering was going to be a fun experience to relive. I look back at myself in High School as a very cliche, satirical, clever, open minded overly grungy teen. Instead I was greeted by a very very insecure, lost girl who somehow felt she was not enough.

I started this project in relation to what is happening in my life now. This includes an end to an almost two year (toxic) relationship, living alone (second year), selecting a job course, as well as making friends and staying healthy. I was experiencing a major personality crisis during the summer upon slowing wading around in the changes which are listed above. I wanted to connect with my past self and perhaps get inspired again or to understand my own thoughts. I have found that I have a pattern of thinking which is so emotionally obscure and victimizing. It is bittersweet being older and realizing that you (or anyone) missed out on enjoying their full potential. I can not change who I was back then, or how I thought. This project will just take a turn. I am now conflicted in how much I should share (which I was not worried about before). Stepping into someone else thoughts even though they are my own, can feel intrusive, and a bit embarrassing.  I also feel egotistical doing a project about myself. This is mainly due to many theories about art and the concept of self which I think about often. Therefore i’m trying to block out what I tell myself people may think about me relating to the subject of this project. The process I am using upon reading is viewing my old words/thoughts/self as an idea or a concept, or someone I am strangely familiar with. Although, it does make me feel enlightened that a lot of things I wanted to happen, which I wrote  about happened in the future.


The first entry I found was humorous and naturally I wanted to make art about it. It was entry I made being confused about sex and then later asking myself “Where was I during sex ed?” It is an actual collage with an album cover as the background saying “sex” and “peep show”. The collage features an anatomical woman I made in high school with battery lungs powered by a Midol pill and flowers. The woman is holding two crystals to symbolized the uterus of birth as well as the purity, delicate nature of a crystal which woman seem to be classified as. The woman is holding connected crystals in both hands to show she has control. In the center of the anatomical woman figure is a picture of a Renaissance painting of a naked Venus (which I find to be the most romantic period of painting). This is placed in the center to show the importance of the woman, which allows the viewer to question, or decide that she represents; beauty, sex, freedom, romance ect.. Which all ties into the hot topic of sex.

I would like to note reading how I view romantic relationships is an eye opener. I often see value in how people treat me or more notable how poorly they treat me. I tend to obsess over their existence and stories I build in my head to keep me entertained. With that being said and seeing that I am a young, independent single woman in art college, id like to make it a goal to realize the negative thoughts I tend to have a pattern in feeling. I want there to be growth and happiness and a boost of confidence by the end of this experience.

I think I may add writing a note to my past self after every entry to disprove the silly emotional ideas I had about the world I was freshly exposed to.

-Day 2

I have decided that I would allow me to make videos which I love doing as well as having a more interesting presentation with the control of environment visuals and sound. In a way recapturing the moment and emotion. I am very excited and have  a renewed excitement. I think I will post a series each week therefore 5 days =one video and so forth.

The zine idea was not reading the way I intended yet I think I will still incorporate the collage I made into a video with my voice on top.


The intro just shows most of the journals I found the song Gutless by Hole to be fitting due to my love for Hole as well as the overall tone of my attitude. The font animation was not polished due to time- but what can ya do?

The second video is about being in High School and going to my hometown’s fair. I used videos of cupcakes/cake because I felt very sweet and happy reading this even though it had some negatives. The music is also of The Smiths which I believed to fit well.

The third video has clips from my summer trip to Middle town which I felt was a very reflective trip. I wanted to use this poem because I felt at the time me questioning existence is an overall theme. The door being my psychical body which I protest which I rationalized being import to the function of life

Dear Diary. (Artists Process)

My original idea was to write poems and illustrate them. I then built upon this idea, and decided to write poems/ illustrate my old memories, as well as dreams. I began to wonder how many dreams/memories I actually remembered which were structured. How was I going to capture the emotion, thoughts, visuals as well as putting it all on paper. Upon thinking about the time limit to complete each session (1 hour), I realized that I have over 15+ diaries filled with memories of my life.Taking my direct words and description of emotion would be very convenient.


Therefore I think I am going to randomly select a page from my diary- scan in my actual handwriting and illustrate how my emotions looked/felt. I am very open about people being open with their lives therefore I do not have a problem exposing whatever may be brought up. I am excited to venture into my past seeing that I am very content in my life as of now. I hope this process will stretch my imagination to capture emotion/events in my life. Although, I am worried that I may not feel a connection to the raw emotion I felt while writing due to not being in that moment.

I am not sure if I want the depictions of my memories to be abstract, watercolor or mixed media. Therefore I think I will probably mix up each memory with a different style according to the event.

Some inspiration I had for this project was taken from the “dairy/journal books” I own “Dirty Blonde: Journal of Courtney Love” and “Journals: Kurt Cobain”. Each book has a sense of graphic placement. Dirty Blonde mostly has a stylized retouched look, instead of Kurt’s very raw journal look. Therefore I think I’d like to focus on the process of placement/scanning with the writing.

The end result will be printed much like a zine. This will allow the two timelines to be merged in a reinvented diary.

Flower Vibin’: Last week

To sum this pipeline experience up, it was pleasant and revolved around committed hard work. Everyone came together with little conflict in order to make Flower Vibin’ a reality.Although there was separation in each teams jobs, it all came together nicely. I believe that the project did not result in too much conflict (within the group) due to the projects goal of spreading happiness. Everyone accomplished what they needed to accomplish, plus more.

The Design for Media course has taught me that celebrating failure is just a reality an artist (anyone) must embrace. In the beginning I was responsible for the font animations for the videos, as well as being in the promotion team. The posters I created were too avant garde for the purpose of the event as well as the directors vision. As for the video animations, each person who did the filming made their own individual video fonts/edits ect. This lead to me not having graphics displayed, for the sake of the artists vision as well as time.  Therefore, I am in charge of bring food/ dessert to the events showing on Friday night. This is not to show how much of my work was not successful, some was. I helped make over 100 buttons for the event, as well worked with the promotion team. I think everyone gave each other input through out the course of the project, allowing us to be a unit.

Flower Vibin’ -Font Progression

This week I was to work on font animations for the title of the video. Unfortunately, my Wacom tablet pen was not working. Therefore I could not digitally draw the animation of the text. I was trying out different font animation effects while using After Effects. Many of my trials allowed me to practice how to use keying for transitions.  The video transferred the background to black while the intended background color is white- therefore the colors do not read as pastel. I went with a pretty simple transition due to air-y light subject matter of the project. Therefore, I thought the “semi-power puff girl”, “60’s roller skater” effect of the layered colors of font would suffice.   I will be posting more font transitions soon as well. I am hoping once the video is completed, matching the font to the first scene would be most helpful. As well as animating the end credits.